Another Phony Sick Day

Glenn's latest lyrics, inspired by all the dopes who constantly call out sick when they're NOT.


ANOTHER PHONY SICK DAY

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day 
When he ain't really sick      
Another phony sick day         
Man, that guy won't quit       

Verse 1:
Looked great when we saw him
In the bar 'round 1 a.m.
And the last time that he called out
He came back with a tan

But he left our boss a voicemail
Used his "I'm sick" cough
Said he fell and stubbed a toenail
And he needs the whole week off

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Verse 2:
He somehow picked up parvo
Though I'm sure he's not a pup
Food poisoning at S'barro
"Dude, I CAN'T STOP THROWING UP!"

Last week was the vapours
Next week he'll get gout
Or nicked with his new razor
And damn-near bleed right out

Chorus:                      
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick    
Another phony sick day       
Man, that guy won't quit      
                              
Bridge:                       
How could he still be walkin' 
With health that's so debased?
He'd be inside a coffin       
They'd shoot off into space
                              
Verse 3:                      
Now he's at the office        
And this time it's for real   
He's sneezing and he's coughing
And hacking with great zeal   
                              
My temperature is rising,     
He shoulda stayed at home
Used up all his sick time
Now we've gotta use our own!

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Copyright July 27, 2012 by Glenn Page

Fixx-ing What's 99% Broke: The Fixx, Inspired by OWS, Return With New CD "Beautiful Friction."

     The Fixx have always been the thinking man's (and woman's) new wave band. Of course, we like to think so because we like them and we like to think of ourselves as smart. (Duh!) Even beyond our obvious bias, however, the "thinking man" label has stuck for one simple reason: It's true.

     And, not only have The Fixx consistently made us stroke our chins and go "HMMMM" many times over the years, but they're also a fierce live act and one of the most innovative and undervalued forces to emerge from the new wave scene of the 1980s. Now, the band that gave us such classics as "One Thing Leads to Another," "Saved by Zero," "Red Skies," "Are We Ourselves?" and "Secret Separation" are back with a vengeance on a brand new studio album called "Beautiful Friction."


     The album, inspired in part by the energy of the Occupy Wall Street Movement, draws upon the tensions and anxieties that define our modern age and, hopefully, presage a better tomorrow. There's no bandwagon jumping here; anyone who knows the Fixx's history will recall that these themes have cropped up in their music repeatedly over the years. (Even back in 1986 they were singing, "The rush of youth, what it could achieve.") The social and political events of the last few years have merely re-energized the band and sharpened the focus of their creative laser beams.

     The results of this revitalization are there for all to hear on "Beautiful Friction." Jaw-droppingly gorgeous songs like "Just Before Dawn" and the title track nestle up comfortably to ferocious rockers like "What God?" and "Take a Risk," with lead singer Cy Curnin employing his singular vocal style with a startling new-found maturity throughout. Just listen as he nimbly leaps from haunting to yearning to erupting with existential anguish and back again every few bars or so. (Hell, the way he sings "The unaccountable wait to die" on the album's first single "Anyone Else" is worth the price of admission alone.)

     It's also worth noting that "Beautiful Friction" features ALL the members of the best-known Fixx lineup, right down to the funkiest guy to barely ever move on stage (and the man behind some of the most memorable grooves of the 80s), bass player Dan K. Brown. Jamie West-Oram - one of rock's most insanely underrated guitarists - is on board to provide his patented, jagged riffing and those clean, chiming guitar tones that ring out like the harmony of the spheres, while Adam Woods is on hand to swiftly and safely bring those chords back to earth with his pounding drums. Rounding it all out is Rupert Greenall, who loves to soak everything in a scary, sinister vibe - that is, when he's not using rushing keyboard lines or bell sounds to create moments of sheer, other-worldly beauty.

     And if any of this sounds like it borders on the portentous, fear not: The Fixx are way too crafty with a hook and way too savvy with their pop-smarts to let the album ever get bogged down with the weight of its own ideas. These guys are no strangers to the Billboard Top 40, after all! "Beautiful Friction" is a timely latter-day release from an important band who still care about making lasting music in a world that gets ever more disposable by the second.

     These are crazy times we live in; it's good to know The Fixx are "still around" to help us through it all - and keep us thinking.

    - Glenn Page

Buy "Beautiful Friction" by The Fixx at Amazon.com!

                                                                                                                                                                         

Most Popular Baby Names for 2012 Announced

* Just released! The most popular baby-names of the year!!!


Looks like parents went traditional this year; guess you can never underestimate the classics!



Boys:

10. Rutger Hauer

9. Iggy

8. Licorice

7. Bio-Hazard

6. Bed-Sore (or "Bed-Saur")

5. Hellspawn

4. Groucho

3. Bob

2. Reginald-Bob

1. Ass-Face



Girls:

10. Leona

9. Ore-Ida

8. Crusher

7. Rapunzel

6. Mary

5. Grey-Shadea

4. Groucha

3. Bubbles

2. Ethel-Magdelina

1. Charles Bronson

New Glenn Page Single: "My Life in Pictures"

Coffee Grinds #7: Gingerbread-Peppermint-Eggnog Twist Flavored Grinds - YUM!

Some seasonal scrapings from the burnt bottom of our coffee pots. Enjoy!


• Please, please stop trying to give old Christmas carols "hip" and "cutting edge" arrangements. I'm not a  purist, it just sounds like crap and never works.

• I'm really tired of indie bands all trying to look like lumberjacks. DUDE. You play a mandolin and you sing about tea cups. You're NOT a lumberjack.

• Q: What' determines if a song is considered "dated" or "definitely of its time"?
  A: Whether the person you ask likes the song.

• Definition of frustration: When you go to buy a personalized keychain or mug, and they have every name under the sun, even the oddball ones, but they don't have yours. "What? They have Glenniford and Glenncort but they don't have Glenn??? What the HELL!"

• Most people believe their intelligence is "above average," which is a statistical impossibility. Also, smart elitists annoy me because I keep thinking that, metaphorically speaking, even the smartest ant on the anthill is still pretty freakin' stupid.

• Last night, my seat on the bus was broken and wouldn't recline, so I asked the bus driver to "pop-a-wheelie" the whole way home.

• Never listen to mean-spirited critics. Most of them have no vision to speak of, and since they can't see yours, they only want to tear it down.

• Dear TV and internet: Please stop asking for my "comments" or "feedback" and acting like you care what I think just because some marketing guru told you that you need to be more "interactive" in the era of social networking. You don't care what we think; I don't care what I think; and I CERTAINLY don't care what Joe Blow down the street thinks.

• Definition of irony: Michele Bachman said she wanted to return "character" to the White House. When asked twice (TWICE!) if she meant to suggest that President Obama lacks character she dodged the question while basically insisting she's a straight shooter of character who "says what she means." Okay, so if you're such a straight shooter who "says what she means" why the hell doesn't she ANSWER THE QUESTION?

• Which reminds me, candidates constantly saying that "people are sick of politics as usual" IS politics as usual.

• 2012 is almost here. Hey Def Leppard! That "Armageddon It" song ain't SO FUNNY NOW is it? IS IT?!?!?!?

Going My Way? We're All Going the Same Way...

Here's the Skye vocal mix of Glenn Page's tune, "Life Goes Past." It's a bit different from the previous versions, and I think the overall mix is a bit better. Let us know what you think!