Drinking Song: Another Phony Sick Day

https://youtu.be/IN08Ldvai64


This drinking song is dedicated to all those folks who constantly call out sick at the drop of a hat and make the rest of us good, hard-working, salt of the earth folks pick up their damn slack. Words and Music by Glenn Page.

Intro:
La la la la la la la
La la la la la

Verse 1:
He looked fine when we last saw him
In the bar 'round 3am
And the last time that he called out
He came back with a tan

But he left the boss a voicemail
And he used his "I'm sick" cough
He said he fell and stubbed a toenail
And he needs the whole week off

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man that guy won't quit
Pacino and DeNiro
Borrowed all his acting tricks
Another phony sick day
And I'm so sick of it

Verse 2:
He somehow picked up parvo
Though I'm sure he's not a pup
Food poisoning at S'barro
"Dude, I can't stop throwing up!"

Last week was the vapours
Next week he'll get gout
Or get nicked with his new razor
And damn-near bleed right out

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man that guy won't quit
Pacino and DeNiro
Called and asked him for some tips
Another phony sick day
And I'm so sick of it

Bridge:
How could he still be walking
With health that's so debased?
He'd be inside a coffin
They'd shoot off into space
La la la la la la la
La la la la la

Verse 3:
Now he's back here at the office
And this time it's for real
He's sneezing and he's coughing
And hacking with great zeal

My temperature is rising
He shoulda stayed at home
Used up all his sick time
Now we've gotta use our own!
BECAUSE

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man that guy won't quit
Pacino and DeNiro
Ain't got nuthin' on this twit
Another phony sick day
And I'm so sick of it
He took another phony sick day
And we're so sick of it



Chords:

Intro:
A - E - B, A - E - E

Verse:
B - B - E - E
B - B - E - E
G#7- G#7 - c#m- c#m
F#7 - F#7 - B - B - B7

Chorus:
E - E - E - B
B - B - B - E
E - E - E7 - A
A - E - B,A - E - E

Bridge:
C - C - G - G
C - C - B - B
A - E - B,A - E - E

Words and Music by Glenn Page, copyright 2017.

Katy Perry: Having Your Cupcakes, and Eating Them Too

This new Katy Perry song "Chained to the Rhythm" bothers me on so many levels. People keep saying how "brave" and "edgy" Perry is for doing this song. What a bunch of bull! It's not brave or edgy to write a quasi-"protest" song when:

(a) You're now 32 years old and you realize at some point you're going to have to make a move towards "mature artist" territory if you want to remain commercially viable. You can't wear cupcakes on your boobs forever.

(b) The whole country is basically a sh*t-storm of social and political unrest, which means you're really just tapping into the zeitgeist. Your intentions may be good, but it's hardly a "brave" move.

(c) Your song, under the pretense of being "ironic," hedges its bets at every turn by telling people not to be mindless consumers, but couches the message in a loutish, party-anthem chorus which shouts "DRINK!!!" and cynically panders to the most mindless of pop consumers. Irony isn't a free pass for hypocrisy.

(d) Your song is dealing with old, worn-out stereotypes about how the middle class is too "comfortable" to see the harsh reality of the world around them, while blithely ignoring the fact that the middle class is seriously hurting in just about every respect, and I suspect is more aware of the world around them than ever before.

(e) You bemoan the steady stream of propaganda which keeps people oblivious and anesthetized. At the same time, you conveniently overlook that YOU yourself are a huge part of the machine that helps keeps people in that trance, and one safe, trivial protest song lacking the courage of its own convictions isn't going to do much to change that.
However, in other news, Lady Gaga's new song "John Wayne" is pretty good!

DRINK!!!