Childhood Trauma, The Breakup of the American Family, and "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

As a child, I found the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" particularly disturbing. Here was a song, a mainstream holiday song no less, celebrating and implicitly condoning Kringle-ian infidelity! What the hell! Why is mommy kissing Santa Claus!!! Where's dad??? I don't think it'd be a "laugh" if he saw his wife messing around with some fat dude who's supposed to be delivering toys to well-behaved children! It's even worse because the music is all happy and buoyant like everyone's in on it (except clueless dad) and mom cheating is just the COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!!! Oh yeah, baby, mom's a cheating hussy! And Santa's a home wrecker!!! WOO HOO!!! Good times everybody! Cue up those horns and pour me some more egg nog!!! What the hell!!! And what about Mrs. Claus alone at the North Pole? Did we just "conveniently" forget about her??? I don't know, I seriously believe this song may have been instrumental in instilling my life-long distrust of people. Of course, now that I'm older and I know what the song is REALLY about (parental fun and games) and what's REALLY going on, well... I think it's even more disturbing.

Henry's Dreams

In his dreams, Henry was sailing over the mountains, the cornfields and the crystal blue ocean, his majestic wings stretched wide... but in his waking hours, the poor sow was constantly tormented and mocked by people throwing buckets of liquified food at him and equating his silent longing with things that would never, ever, ever, come to pass.

The Most Depressing Christmas Lyrics Ever Written

"What Have They Done to Christmas?"

Verse 1:

I used to watch the snowflakes falling
A blanket of hope floating down
Now leaves on the trees start to wither
I'm walking on cold and hardened ground

Holiday time arrived this morning
People were swirling 'round my head
Visions that danced like a warning
Were making me stir in my bed

Chorus:

Asking
What have we done to Christmas?
What happened to that silent night?
I can't even tell that it's Christmas
Is it Christmas?
Do you remember Christmastime?

Verse 2:

Shoppers lined up to meet their savior
Pushing on unrelenting doors
They saw the signs and came for saving
While somebody else still begs for more

Chorus:

And I'm saying
What have they done to Christmas?
What happened to that silent night?
I can't even tell that it's Christmas
Is it Christmas?
Do you remember Christmastime?

Bridge:

What happened to charity and mistletoe?
What happened to caring every day?
Looking for harmony within a world
Where even the wise men lose their way

Chorus 2:

I keep asking
What have we done to Christmas?
What happened to comfort and good cheer?
I'm not really sure
It was ever that way
Could we have some Christmastime next year?
No peace on earth again, I fear
Please let there be Christmastime next year

Maybe next year

"I'm Your Owner, Not Your Lover (Song for My Dog)"

Chloe just turned nine so we celebrated her birthday by breaking out this old chestnut.