"Life Goes Past" - Glenn Vocal

I'm Surprised if These Don't Exist

Here's a list of things I made up without checking on the internet. If most of them don't exist somewhere in some form, I'd be very surprised. Some of them I think should exist, if they don't already. Some of them are probably just pretty bad ideas all around.


* A retro 80's metal band called "Snake Oil."

* A cheap knock-off of Eternity Perfume named "A Really Long Time."

* A super-hot hot sauce called "Tongue DEPRESS-er"

* A brand of flat soda sold in an 8 oz. can called "A-Cup"

* A skinhead punk band named "Extreme Prejudice."

* A brand of condoms named "Carrier Barriers."

* A brand of shaving razors called "WHOA! That was CLOSE!"

* A super-caffeinated beverage for students staying up all night to study called "Cram!"

* A comic book about a former member of the military who becomes a superhero and fights for justice using the moniker "Colonel of Truth"

* A series of buttons above your car stereo which, when pushed, dispenses all kinds of snacks and hot or cold beverages in the area by your armrest. It's called "Dashboard Concession-ALL"

* A "deliciously addictive" sugary breakfast cereal named "Crack of Dawn!"