Drinking Song: Another Phony Sick Day

https://youtu.be/IN08Ldvai64


This drinking song is dedicated to all those folks who constantly call out sick at the drop of a hat and make the rest of us good, hard-working, salt of the earth folks pick up their damn slack. Words and Music by Glenn Page.

Intro:
La la la la la la la
La la la la la

Verse 1:
He looked fine when we last saw him
In the bar 'round 3am
And the last time that he called out
He came back with a tan

But he left the boss a voicemail
And he used his "I'm sick" cough
He said he fell and stubbed a toenail
And he needs the whole week off

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man that guy won't quit
Pacino and DeNiro
Borrowed all his acting tricks
Another phony sick day
And I'm so sick of it

Verse 2:
He somehow picked up parvo
Though I'm sure he's not a pup
Food poisoning at S'barro
"Dude, I can't stop throwing up!"

Last week was the vapours
Next week he'll get gout
Or get nicked with his new razor
And damn-near bleed right out

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man that guy won't quit
Pacino and DeNiro
Called and asked him for some tips
Another phony sick day
And I'm so sick of it

Bridge:
How could he still be walking
With health that's so debased?
He'd be inside a coffin
They'd shoot off into space
La la la la la la la
La la la la la

Verse 3:
Now he's back here at the office
And this time it's for real
He's sneezing and he's coughing
And hacking with great zeal

My temperature is rising
He shoulda stayed at home
Used up all his sick time
Now we've gotta use our own!
BECAUSE

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man that guy won't quit
Pacino and DeNiro
Ain't got nuthin' on this twit
Another phony sick day
And I'm so sick of it
He took another phony sick day
And we're so sick of it



Chords:

Intro:
A - E - B, A - E - E

Verse:
B - B - E - E
B - B - E - E
G#7- G#7 - c#m- c#m
F#7 - F#7 - B - B - B7

Chorus:
E - E - E - B
B - B - B - E
E - E - E7 - A
A - E - B,A - E - E

Bridge:
C - C - G - G
C - C - B - B
A - E - B,A - E - E

Words and Music by Glenn Page, copyright 2017.

Katy Perry: Having Your Cupcakes, and Eating Them Too

This new Katy Perry song "Chained to the Rhythm" bothers me on so many levels. People keep saying how "brave" and "edgy" Perry is for doing this song. What a bunch of bull! It's not brave or edgy to write a quasi-"protest" song when:

(a) You're now 32 years old and you realize at some point you're going to have to make a move towards "mature artist" territory if you want to remain commercially viable. You can't wear cupcakes on your boobs forever.

(b) The whole country is basically a sh*t-storm of social and political unrest, which means you're really just tapping into the zeitgeist. Your intentions may be good, but it's hardly a "brave" move.

(c) Your song, under the pretense of being "ironic," hedges its bets at every turn by telling people not to be mindless consumers, but couches the message in a loutish, party-anthem chorus which shouts "DRINK!!!" and cynically panders to the most mindless of pop consumers. Irony isn't a free pass for hypocrisy.

(d) Your song is dealing with old, worn-out stereotypes about how the middle class is too "comfortable" to see the harsh reality of the world around them, while blithely ignoring the fact that the middle class is seriously hurting in just about every respect, and I suspect is more aware of the world around them than ever before.

(e) You bemoan the steady stream of propaganda which keeps people oblivious and anesthetized. At the same time, you conveniently overlook that YOU yourself are a huge part of the machine that helps keeps people in that trance, and one safe, trivial protest song lacking the courage of its own convictions isn't going to do much to change that.
However, in other news, Lady Gaga's new song "John Wayne" is pretty good!

DRINK!!!

Album Reviews I Don't Even Need to Finish Reading, by Glenn Page

"For their fifth album, these indie darlings..."

 "Opening a lyrical vein for the world to see, he not so much sings, but mumbles, his tortured poetry over a muted musical soundscape which creates a rich tapestry of emotional pain and draws the listener further into the depths of..."

 "Combining their unique brand of fizzy alt-pop with the introspective smarts of Brooklyn-esque lo-fi and the savage grace of their post-emo contemporaries..."

 "On this, a welcome return-to-form..."

 "Over the course of nine solemn, dirge-like tracks, the band explores their rustic roots and shared love of Appalachian folklore..."

 "Kicking off the album with a quirky number about your significant other's taste in coffee drinks and favorite authors might seem odd to some, but..."

"Although ostensibly a jam band, their last release was a straight cover, from end-to-end, of Ke$ha's 'Warrior' album. Their latest, arriving a mere two months later, finds the band applying their formidable musical chops to Kenny Rogers, viewing him through a psychedelic prism and re-imagining the country icon's entire back catalog as..."

"Clearly inspired by punk visionaries like Green Day and Blink 182..."

"The pop princess shows us yet again that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, as no less than ten of the twelve songs on her new album rail at ex-lovers who dared..."

"Only two days into January, and already on most critics' lists as a fierce contender for 'best album of the year', no one is likely to top..."

"On edgy new tracks like 'F*ck All Bitches', this brilliant musical satirist turns a funhouse mirror on society and offers up a scathing indictment of consumerist culture..."

"No one can deny the 80s were, by and large, musically barren..."

"To all the naysayers who insist rock is dead, check out this stunning debut by..."

"Abandoning the intricate songcraft and multi-layered beauty that defined the bulk of their earlier work, the band opts for a more 'organic' sound this time around, banging out twelve warts-and-all numbers, most of which evolved from nine hours of jamming on two chords..."

"If Kurt Cobain had lived..."

Credit Card Chip Reader Blues - Do the Chip! by Glenn Page and Jonny Aldrich

For everyone who absolutely HATES those new credit card chip reader machines, I wrote a little blues number called "Do the Chip! (Chip Reader Blues)". Inspiration struck when a woman asked a cashier at the store, "Do you do the chip?" As soon as I heard that, I got right to writing. My friend Jonny and I (under our band name "Addie Dodge") recorded this rough demo of the tune. We may eventually record a "real" version of the song, but in the meantime, we had a lot of fun recording this early take. The lyrics and chords are below so you can follow along. Please be sure to comment and subscribe, and thanks for listening! Sincerely, Glenn

"Do the Chip!" (AKA: "Chip Reader Blues")
by Glenn Page

Performed by
Jonny Aldrich and Glenn Page



Verse 1:
First you put it in the base
Then you pull it out too soon
Then you make an angry face
Wondering what you're s'posed to do
Hey, if you like to wait,
Man this thing is great
You do the chip!
Let's do the chip!

Verse 2:
Well, they say it keeps us safe
But it's really for the banks
And for making people late
TelI Jamie Dimon I said "Thanks!"
Like Russians in the snow
It's art house movie slow
To do the chip!
You do the chip!

Bridge:
Yeah, we're all living on credit
'Cause that's just what they want
And to make sure they're protected
When the whole thing falls apart

Verse 3:
So you put it in the base
Then complain it takes too long
Stare the clerk right in the face
Like he hasn't heard that song
You ain't the head of state,
Hey buddy you can wait
To do the chip!
You do the chip!
It'll drive you crazy,
So COME ON BABY
Do the chip!!!

Intro:
E - D - A - A

Verse 1:
A - A - A - A
D - D - A - A
E - D - A - E

Verse 2:
A - A - A - A
D - D - A - A
E - D - A - A - A - A

Bridge 1:
D - D - B - B
D - D - E - E - E

Solo:
A - A - A - A
D - D - A - A
E - D - A - A

Bridge 2:
D - D - B - B
D - D - E - E - E - E

Verse 3:
A - A - A - A
D - D - A - A
E - D - A - A

Coda:
E - D - A - A
E - D - A - A
A - A - A - A
E - D - A - A

Words and Music by Glenn Page, copyright 2016.
Click here to hear "Do the Chip!"

Mother's Day Song Lyrics: 100,000 Sandwiches

Last year I wrote and recorded a Father's Day song. This year I've been working on a Mother's Day song, but I didn't finish the lyrics in time for the holiday. Here they are. - Glenn


"100,000 Sandwiches"

100,000 sandwiches is what she made
A different sandwich every single day
Ham and swiss or tuna fish with mayonnaise
Your mother made one every single day

She would wake up early every morning
And packed your lunch while you were still in bed
And drew some funny faces without warning
Your friends all saw and you wished you were dead

But 100,000 sandwiches is what she made
A snack or two was tossed in every bag
Non-descript chips, I don't know which, I think they were Lay's
With carrot sticks to balance out your swag

You would save your favorite for the finish
And tried to trade your veggies with your friends
But you would never trade a single minute
Knowing what you know now
If you knew it then

That even when she spread herself too thin
She still got up to do it all again

And 100,000 sandwiches were custom-made
Peanut butter with a little j
Cut in two and crust removed, you had it made
'Cause your mother loved you every single day
Yeah, your mother loved you every single day
100,000 times more than words can say


- Glenn Page, May, 2015

Song Lyrics: The World's a Deflated Football (Just a Game)

I was recently asked to pen some humorous lyrics for a song about world peace. On the surface, this may seem like it's not that hard, but it's actually trickier than it seems. Humor is not always universal, and, of course, world peace is supposed to be. Plus, world peace is a very serious subject, involving lots of different cultures and beliefs, so it's hard to interject levity into the topic without potentially offending someone. So it was a bit of a challenge.


Still, I figured I'd give it a go. Although I know virtually nothing about sports, I decided to use the recent "DeflateGate" controversy as a starting point. Here's what I came up with.

The World's a Deflated Football (Just a Game)

Verse1:

The world's a deflated football
Blindly hurtling through space
Will it touch down gently
Or hit Marcia in the face?

The crowds are getting rowdy
Cheering wildly for their teams
Obscenities are flying
Don't even know what that one means

Pre-Chorus:

But somehow I know that things will be all right
When the morning comes we'll only see highlights

Chorus:

'Cause it's all
Just a game
And we're all
Still the same
Though we stumble and fumble and generally act lame
Oh it's all
(All, all, all)
Just a game

Verse 2:

The world is a poker table
But the stakes can get too high
It ought to be more friendly
Like a night out with the guys

Sometimes you might get angry
Or call someone a jerk
But the next day it means nothing
When you see them back at work

Pre-Chorus 2:

And somehow I know that things will be all right
Forget that you bet on your wedding ring last night

Chorus 2:

'Cause it's all
Just a game
And we're all
Still the same
All in with two fours like we've suddenly lost our brains
In the end,
(Don't you know)
It's just a game

Bridge:

And everyone in the world
Is on the same team
The flames on our shirts may look cooler,
But it's the same team

Chorus 3:

And it's all,
Just a game...
Yeah, we're all,
Still the same
Put some air in this ball, we can play with it in the rain
'Cause it's all..
(All all all)
Just a game
Just a game

-Glenn Page, January 2015

Cleaning Out The Glenn Page Vaults, Part One

Over the next few months I'll be cleaning house, in a way, by posting all kinds of odds and ends which I've never posted before. Mostly this will consist of just posting self-penned lyrics and/or songs which I think are pretty good but which haven't really seen the light of day for various reasons.

The first post consists of the lyrics to my 1995 song "What Silly Children We Are," which, I believe, borrows its title from something the Christian Caroline Fry wrote in the 1800s, but I'm not really sure where I personally picked it up. Maybe in my philosophy classes? Anyway, this song was thematically similar to my other song "Cosmic Orphans", but the viewpoint is much more sympathetic, charitable and far less despairing than that song.

There's music too, but this song was performed publicly only once, at a coffeehouse back in 1995 or so. As of right now, there are no recorded versions, mainly because there were one or two bits I was never very happy with, musically speaking. However, I still kind of like the lyrics, so here they are. 

"Silly Children"

We are always so hard on ourselves
We never give ourselves a break
Living our lives in our personal hells
And never wanting to make mistakes

If only we could look at our lives
From behind a distant star
Maybe we could stop and then finally realize
Oh what silly children we are

Silly children
Silly children we are
Silly children
When you look from afar
And it only takes one change of perception
To send your life in a new direction
Silly children
We are

Sometimes self-righteous and quick to condemn
Common sense is our only defense
Always demanding and so reprimanding
When understanding makes more sense

If only we could look at ourselves
From behind another's eyes
Sisters and brothers when you finally realize
That we're just like children inside

Silly children
Silly children we are
Silly children
When you look from afar
And it only takes one moment's reflection
For everyone to make a deeper connection
Silly children
We are

And every day
We try to learn to grow
So knowing is nothing
And there is nothing to know

Silly children
Silly children

- G. Page, 1995

Childhood Trauma, The Breakup of the American Family, and "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

As a child, I found the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" particularly disturbing. Here was a song, a mainstream holiday song no less, celebrating and implicitly condoning Kringle-ian infidelity! What the hell! Why is mommy kissing Santa Claus!!! Where's dad??? I don't think it'd be a "laugh" if he saw his wife messing around with some fat dude who's supposed to be delivering toys to well-behaved children! It's even worse because the music is all happy and buoyant like everyone's in on it (except clueless dad) and mom cheating is just the COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD!!! Oh yeah, baby, mom's a cheating hussy! And Santa's a home wrecker!!! WOO HOO!!! Good times everybody! Cue up those horns and pour me some more egg nog!!! What the hell!!! And what about Mrs. Claus alone at the North Pole? Did we just "conveniently" forget about her??? I don't know, I seriously believe this song may have been instrumental in instilling my life-long distrust of people. Of course, now that I'm older and I know what the song is REALLY about (parental fun and games) and what's REALLY going on, well... I think it's even more disturbing.

Henry's Dreams

In his dreams, Henry was sailing over the mountains, the cornfields and the crystal blue ocean, his majestic wings stretched wide... but in his waking hours, the poor sow was constantly tormented and mocked by people throwing buckets of liquified food at him and equating his silent longing with things that would never, ever, ever, come to pass.

The Most Depressing Christmas Lyrics Ever Written

"What Have They Done to Christmas?"

Verse 1:

I used to watch the snowflakes falling
A blanket of hope floating down
Now leaves on the trees start to wither
I'm walking on cold and hardened ground

Holiday time arrived this morning
People were swirling 'round my head
Visions that danced like a warning
Were making me stir in my bed

Chorus:

Asking
What have we done to Christmas?
What happened to that silent night?
I can't even tell that it's Christmas
Is it Christmas?
Do you remember Christmastime?

Verse 2:

Shoppers lined up to meet their savior
Pushing on unrelenting doors
They saw the signs and came for saving
While somebody else still begs for more

Chorus:

And I'm saying
What have they done to Christmas?
What happened to that silent night?
I can't even tell that it's Christmas
Is it Christmas?
Do you remember Christmastime?

Bridge:

What happened to charity and mistletoe?
What happened to caring every day?
Looking for harmony within a world
Where even the wise men lose their way

Chorus 2:

I keep asking
What have we done to Christmas?
What happened to comfort and good cheer?
I'm not really sure
It was ever that way
Could we have some Christmastime next year?
No peace on earth again, I fear
Please let there be Christmastime next year

Maybe next year

"I'm Your Owner, Not Your Lover (Song for My Dog)"

Chloe just turned nine so we celebrated her birthday by breaking out this old chestnut.

A Song for Father's Day!

A lot of people have been asking for the lyrics on this one, so I've included the lyrics and chords below. Basically, since there aren't a lot of songs for Father's Day, I took a poem I wrote for my dad and turned it into a song! It's pretty simple, so you can play and sing it for your dad too. Enjoy - and please be sure to favorite and share! 
Thanks so much, and Happy Father's Day! :)



"Strongest Man in the World"
by Glenn Page

Verse 1:
He can't pull a monster truck
By using just his teeth
And he can't lift an elephant
While trembling underneath
But when it came to raising us
You may not have heard
Don't you know that my dad
Is the strongest man in the world

Verse 2:
He can't make a speeding train
Stop dead in its tracks
And he can't hurl an aeroplane 
Up to the moon and back
But if you mention giving up
He'd say,"That's absurd!"
There ain't no doubt that that my dad
Is the strongest man in the world

Bridge:
'Cause all day he long he cares for us
From morn 'til setting sun
And all that love he's carrying
It must weigh a ton

Verse 3:
He don't need no big parade
Gold trophies in a case
No accolades, no serenades
A glove that shouts, "First Place!"
He won't ask for nothing
No matter what he deserves
So let me just say "Thank you"
To the strongest man in the world.

Coda:
He won't ask for nothing!
No matter what he deserves!
There ain't no doubt that my dad
Is the strongest man in the world.
Don't you know that my dad
Is the strongest man in the world

Chords:

Verse - 

D - D - G - D
D - f#m - em - A
bm - G - bm - E7
D - A - B flat C - D - D 

Bridge - 

G - G - D - D
G - G - Asus7-A7


https://www.facebook.com/glennpagemusicofficial

Ghosts on Vinyl!

Wowsies! Cool new music from Ghosts on Vinyl! Check it out and be sure to become a "FAN-tom" on facebook!

New Lyrics: "Nothing to Do With You"

NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU

Verse 1:
Another lazy Friday evening
Getting cozy on the couch
I suppose we'll just stay in, girl
Even though we could go out

And I know we saw this "Seinfeld"
But somehow the jokes seem new
'Cause it feels like doing something
Doin' nothing with you

Chorus:
Nothing to do with you
I want nothing to do with you
Nothing to do with you
I want nothing to do with you

Verse 2:
Saturday came quickly
You've got some errands to run
There's a sale on Vera Bradley
Man, that ain't my idea of fun

Leave the car keys and the a.c.
I'll ride shotgun like I do
'Cause it feels like doing something
Doing nothing with you

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
Some people search for hot rods
Racing across the stars
But they never see the flowers
Growing in their own backyard
They say that life means nothing
But it's the only thing we've got
And nothing is deeper than nothing
You and I get that a lot

Verse 3:
Now it's back to work on Monday
The boss is yelling constantly
Making something out of nothing
Like the whole damn company

On my desk you're in a sunhat
And it helps me to get through
Knowing someday I'll be somewhere
Doin' nothing with you

Repeat Chorus

Copyright, 2013, by Glenn Page

New Lyrics: LOSE THE BEARD (Language Alert)

Early version of Glenn Page's latest lyrics, "Lose the Beard."

Glenn says: "...I talk a good game about how much I'm influenced
by punk but very little of it ever comes out in my lyrics/music. That changes today."


LOSE THE BEARD (F*CK THE HIPSTERS)


Verse 1:
You're playing mandolin in an indie band
Trying to cop the look of the common man
Irony, sincerity - I don't care!
Rip Van F*cking Winkle ain't got that much hair

Chorus:
Lose the beard!
Lose the beard!
Lose the beard!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE the beard!!!!!!

Verse 2:
Plaid's the only pattern on your worn-out shirts
Saying "it's in fashion" only makes it worse
I used to wear those glasses 'til my ass got kicked
Now you think it's cool but you're just a dick

Chorus:
Lose the beard!
Lose the beard!
Lose the beard!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE the beard!!!!!!

Bridge:
Hey, we're only working 'cause we got no choice
Stop acting like it's noble in that shitty voice
Trying to be "rootsy" or some hipster crap
You couldn't find the southern states with a map

Verse 3:
You tried to be aloof, but no one looked at you
Your colors are all muted; why can't you be too?
Tomorrow you'll be rustic, rural and so "real"
But you don't own the market on the way that people feel

Chorus:
Lose the beard!
Lose the beard!
Lose the beard!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE the beard!!!!!!

New Song: "Tell Me (The Sweetest Illusion)"

Another Phony Sick Day

Glenn's latest lyrics, inspired by all the dopes who constantly call out sick when they're NOT.


ANOTHER PHONY SICK DAY

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day 
When he ain't really sick      
Another phony sick day         
Man, that guy won't quit       

Verse 1:
Looked great when we saw him
In the bar 'round 1 a.m.
And the last time that he called out
He came back with a tan

But he left our boss a voicemail
Used his "I'm sick" cough
Said he fell and stubbed a toenail
And he needs the whole week off

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Verse 2:
He somehow picked up parvo
Though I'm sure he's not a pup
Food poisoning at S'barro
"Dude, I CAN'T STOP THROWING UP!"

Last week was the vapours
Next week he'll get gout
Or nicked with his new razor
And damn-near bleed right out

Chorus:                      
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick    
Another phony sick day       
Man, that guy won't quit      
                              
Bridge:                       
How could he still be walkin' 
With health that's so debased?
He'd be inside a coffin       
They'd shoot off into space
                              
Verse 3:                      
Now he's at the office        
And this time it's for real   
He's sneezing and he's coughing
And hacking with great zeal   
                              
My temperature is rising,     
He shoulda stayed at home
Used up all his sick time
Now we've gotta use our own!

Chorus:
He took another phony sick day
When he ain't really sick
Another phony sick day
Man, that guy won't quit

Copyright July 27, 2012 by Glenn Page

Fixx-ing What's 99% Broke: The Fixx, Inspired by OWS, Return With New CD "Beautiful Friction."

     The Fixx have always been the thinking man's (and woman's) new wave band. Of course, we like to think so because we like them and we like to think of ourselves as smart. (Duh!) Even beyond our obvious bias, however, the "thinking man" label has stuck for one simple reason: It's true.

     And, not only have The Fixx consistently made us stroke our chins and go "HMMMM" many times over the years, but they're also a fierce live act and one of the most innovative and undervalued forces to emerge from the new wave scene of the 1980s. Now, the band that gave us such classics as "One Thing Leads to Another," "Saved by Zero," "Red Skies," "Are We Ourselves?" and "Secret Separation" are back with a vengeance on a brand new studio album called "Beautiful Friction."


     The album, inspired in part by the energy of the Occupy Wall Street Movement, draws upon the tensions and anxieties that define our modern age and, hopefully, presage a better tomorrow. There's no bandwagon jumping here; anyone who knows the Fixx's history will recall that these themes have cropped up in their music repeatedly over the years. (Even back in 1986 they were singing, "The rush of youth, what it could achieve.") The social and political events of the last few years have merely re-energized the band and sharpened the focus of their creative laser beams.

     The results of this revitalization are there for all to hear on "Beautiful Friction." Jaw-droppingly gorgeous songs like "Just Before Dawn" and the title track nestle up comfortably to ferocious rockers like "What God?" and "Take a Risk," with lead singer Cy Curnin employing his singular vocal style with a startling new-found maturity throughout. Just listen as he nimbly leaps from haunting to yearning to erupting with existential anguish and back again every few bars or so. (Hell, the way he sings "The unaccountable wait to die" on the album's first single "Anyone Else" is worth the price of admission alone.)

     It's also worth noting that "Beautiful Friction" features ALL the members of the best-known Fixx lineup, right down to the funkiest guy to barely ever move on stage (and the man behind some of the most memorable grooves of the 80s), bass player Dan K. Brown. Jamie West-Oram - one of rock's most insanely underrated guitarists - is on board to provide his patented, jagged riffing and those clean, chiming guitar tones that ring out like the harmony of the spheres, while Adam Woods is on hand to swiftly and safely bring those chords back to earth with his pounding drums. Rounding it all out is Rupert Greenall, who loves to soak everything in a scary, sinister vibe - that is, when he's not using rushing keyboard lines or bell sounds to create moments of sheer, other-worldly beauty.

     And if any of this sounds like it borders on the portentous, fear not: The Fixx are way too crafty with a hook and way too savvy with their pop-smarts to let the album ever get bogged down with the weight of its own ideas. These guys are no strangers to the Billboard Top 40, after all! "Beautiful Friction" is a timely latter-day release from an important band who still care about making lasting music in a world that gets ever more disposable by the second.

     These are crazy times we live in; it's good to know The Fixx are "still around" to help us through it all - and keep us thinking.

    - Glenn Page

Buy "Beautiful Friction" by The Fixx at Amazon.com!

                                                                                                                                                                         

Most Popular Baby Names for 2012 Announced

* Just released! The most popular baby-names of the year!!!


Looks like parents went traditional this year; guess you can never underestimate the classics!



Boys:

10. Rutger Hauer

9. Iggy

8. Licorice

7. Bio-Hazard

6. Bed-Sore (or "Bed-Saur")

5. Hellspawn

4. Groucho

3. Bob

2. Reginald-Bob

1. Ass-Face



Girls:

10. Leona

9. Ore-Ida

8. Crusher

7. Rapunzel

6. Mary

5. Grey-Shadea

4. Groucha

3. Bubbles

2. Ethel-Magdelina

1. Charles Bronson

New Glenn Page Single: "My Life in Pictures"